Riza Fortuna

I have not blogged for a long time and I feel guilty. Surely it is OK not to. However, writing down my thoughts and especially reflection on personal events is part of fulfilling my personal calling. Being born to share and teach I feel I am being selfish when I don’t take time to sit down, write, and share.

Tonight I felt some emptiness. I did have a full day with so many things done, but I still had space to be empty. It then reminded me that I need to give. From where I am, away from my personal circles, the way to do that is to write. So here I am.

I realized that life without giving is meaningless. While giving can be in the form of material, it is certainly not the only means and may not even be the best one. All depends on what one is called to do by one’s Creator.

The past several months have been very colorful for me. Most colors represent challenges, trials, and struggles. Life has not been easy, but certainly God’s grace has been sufficient. I am mostly adjusted to being away from my home country, but the remaining adjustment to do is the hardest and requires a lot of faith, strength, and perseverance.

Of equal weight are the pressures I face at work whether real or perceived and starting local friendships from where I am. I certainly love my job and this is the greatest opportunity I ever have been blessed in my career. However, I am still adjusting and can get stressed many times. I realize though that most of it is still within my personal control and I can therefore adjust my approach. As for my personal life, I still have to build a regular support system. Up to now I am still relying mostly on my support systems back in Philippines which certainly keep me going but I realize I have to develop local support too. I have a few friends here now but still need some more network as fits who I am, one who is comfortable having lots of friends.

I have a lot more realizations or events to ponder on and will put them more in succeeding blogs. I am looking forward to write not only because I feel guilty not to but also because I have never lost the passion to share my life. I thank God for the gift of “guilt” though, it is a good prompt or reminder to go in the path that we should and do what we ought to. (Sept.20,2008)