Riza Fortuna

I have not written anything in my blogs for over two months now. It does not mean there is nothing worth noting or sharing; in fact I have been through a lot. Only, I am in a midst of a major transition which is taking most of my time and spared me from sitting down to capture my experiences on writing.

Anyway, I will try my best to sit down from time to time and write. I feel it’s such a loss not being able to write my experiences, much more the reflections and learning’s I find in them. I gather strength as I count my blessings; I grow as I learn from my experiences. It is also my hope that others gain something whenever they read my sharing’s, that they may be blessed one way or another.

So, here’s looking forward that I find the discipline to sit down and write!

My trip to

China

on the last two weeks of May was marked with a lot of turbulence. There was literal turbulence on the plane, being stranded at another airport, having a cancelled flight, struggling with a challenging person, surviving a tough meeting, and the usual delayed flight.

The first flight,

Manila

to

Hong Kong

, had the last half hour in a most turbulent state that some female passengers were already shouting each time the plane shakes badly. That was the most turbulent flight I ever had, but I was calm and confident the whole time. I believe having prayed that morning and lifted my trip to God made me confident that all will be well, and God’s hand was on our flight so there is nothing to worry about. My seatmate was holding tightly on her seat and looks so frightened. I turned to her and calmed her, telling her to breathe to let out her nervousness. I told her I have been through some turbulent flights and it was necessary we undergo that shaky phase so we can land. She started to smile and relax and for that I was grateful we were seatmates.

The connecting flight from Hong Kong to

Tianjin

,

China

did not land at the destination as expected. We instead had an emergency landing for four hours at another airport in between Hong Kong and

Tianjin

, Tai Yuan airport. It was a long wait that delayed my arrival in

Tianjin

for a total of 6 hours. The emergency landing was made due to bad weather on the skies towards our destination. I was glad that it was finally over and we had a safe flight and made it to

Tianjin

just before midnight.

In

Tianjin

, I had a great time overall. However, I had an internal struggle as I dealt with a very challenging person whose personality I had a hard time adjusting with. The good thing is, every time I pray in the morning, I gain guidance and strength and that allowed me to continue to relate to that person better each day. I am also thankful to my support group for praying for me even from afar, I am sure God heard them as my week ended good with that person.

My trip to

China

was to two cities:

Tianjin

and

Chengdu

. I was doing an audit in a manufacturing plant in each city. When I traveled from

Tianjin

to

Chengdu

on Saturday, the flight was cancelled. We went to

Beijing

to take the night flight to

Chengdu

. We were put in a bus where not one of the flight attendants who accompanied us can speak English, and I was the only non-Chinese passenger. So when I asked about the new flight number, the FA cannot answer me. Good my contact in

Chengdu

traced my flight since I gave her the departure time and was able to arrange my revised arrival at the airport for taxi pick up and at the hotel. Then I just enjoyed the two-hour bus trip to

Beijing

listening to music from my mobile mostly from Filipino artists. I also took the time to pray the rosary and lifted the rest of my travel to God. It turned out that we were well provided with food and water and for me that was enough to keep me going in such a lengthened trip.

I spent Sunday in

Chengdu

first by attending mass, then lunch and shopping. My Chinese contact in

Chengdu

was accompanying me the whole time. She is non-Christian but she went with me to Immaculate Conception church, the biggest Catholic church in that city and we attended the two-hour Chinese Pentecost mass. Wow, if Filipinos are religious, the Chinese are a lot more. I was happy to be in a church full of people and almost all are locals. Structure-wise, the church was nice and well-lighted. Ceremony-wise, that was a very rich celebration especially that it was feast of the Pentecost. My Chinese friend was following in all rituals and even wanted to take communion but I told her she cannot since there are prerequisites to taking communion like being baptized, etc. I was praying for that church and the rest of the Catholic and Christians in

China

during the mass. I prayed that God bless them with tremendous growth in number and maturity of faith. I also prayed that I have been a good witness to my Chinese friend and if God wants her converted to Christianity, may the seed was planted in her heart that day. The rest of the day was relaxed though it was so warm - good Chinese lunch, and a little shopping especially for my sister’s birthday gift.

I had a great time with familiar colleagues in

Chengdu

. However, since I had my monthly period, I had some physical struggle as I toured around the plant during the audit. I had to listen to my body while I do my job the best I can. Good my contact was so understanding, she would check on me every now and then and allowed me some short breaks. I was also mentoring the lead auditor whom I was qualifying for such role and I was glad that she stepped up and did well. There was another challenge one day though. I had to work day and night including having meetings at night up to 12 midnight. The last meeting which was a conference call was so tough mentally and also physically since I was sleepy already. However, God gave me strength to hang in there, discuss the best I can, and be humble to take inputs to my presentation and left the meeting with learning’s I can use not only now but the rest of my career. I left

Chengdu

with much fulfillment even though the things to do and the call to work harder has increased.

Finally, I was flying back home after two weeks. My flight from

Chengdu

to

Hong Kong

was perfect and landed on time. The flight from Hong Kong to

Manila

was delayed but I was blessed to be put into the earlier flight which made me arrive

Manila

two hours earlier than originally scheduled. One good thing during that flight was being able to offer my blanket to an old lady who felt so cold and her thankful smile just made my day. I saw Jesus smiling at me.

I have been so tired from that trip. But I am glad I am finally home and will be here the whole month of June! I am also filled with gratitude that God has been with me all throughout and blessed my trips to 5 countries on April and May with good health, safety, protection, fulfillment, joy, and peace. As my gesture of gratitude and also to re-charge, I spent a short time in silent time of prayer with Him at the Pink Sisters Tagaytay the day after my arrival. Truly, I praise and thank God for being my Source, Strength, Provider, Protector, and Faithful Companion all throughout my travels including this last one in

China

. All glory and honor be to Him!

If there is one thing I can confidently say I am wealthy of, it is having QUALITY and TIME-TESTED FRIENDS. I have several deep and meaningful friendships. But here I would like to focus on the ones I celebrate 30, 15, and 10 years of blessed friendships this year.

While the means and time to know these friends differ, they all have one thing in common - they have stood the test of distance and time. Liezel, my best friend for 30 years (since Kindergarten) is the longest friend I ever have and she has always been based in Cebu while I have been in Metro Manila for the past 13 years. Raoul, my best male friend for 15 years (since 1992) is now based in New Zealand with his family but we continue to communicate. Minette, my first friend in Lingkod ng Panginoon community whom I met in 1997 is the nearest in location being based in Sta.Rosa, Laguna but due to my traveling job, we seldom meet, but manage to keep in touch. Bros, my closest brother in Lingkod ng Panginoon who was my neighbor in Cebu, schoolmate in college, and former officemate, started our deep friendship in 1997 when he invited me to join Lingkod. Now he is undergoing his Jesuit priestly formation and we seldom meet but manage to update each other whenever there is a chance.

Liezel and I have been classmates almost all of our years from Kindergarten to High School. When we were in Kindergarten, we started as "enemies". Opposites as we are, we were always fighting and quarrelling, sometimes even with physical bouts. However, we have evolved to become friends who share a lot with each other. So much so that we have become inseparable in school and went through childhood and adolescence through thick and thin. We were together the whole day in school, but were burning the phone lines when we were home after school. We were competitors in academics and extra-curricular activities, but we were the best of friends amidst such competition. In grade school I ended up the batch Valedictorian, while she was the Student Council President. In high school we went to the same school but joined separate activities. Nevertheless, we continued to be each other’s best company as well as critique when needed. We went on separate ways in college as she pursued Political Science (then Law), while I took up Chemical Engineering. However, while we developed new good friends in the University, we continued to update each other and be there in our significant moments. We are such opposite personalities - from family birth order to work preferences to attitudes. However, we complement and are both good listeners to each other. We also value family and relationships highly and are both dependent on God despite having different ways to express it. We have developed a deep care and love for each other and wanted the best for each. I believe these factors made the relationship last this long. I feel so blessed to be celebrating 30 years of friendship with Liezel and able to spend time recently to travel together to Hong Kong.

I had my first personal encounter with Raoul when we were partners in a dyad activity in the Engineering Council team building in 1992. Since then we had the chance to work closely together in the council as I was the Chairman and he was the fellow officer I was grooming to succeed me. The relationship went beyond work, we have become the best of friends. Although I knew he was looking up to me as a mentor and older sister (as evidenced by his confiding to me his major decisions including personal ones), I learn so much from him as well and confided in similar manner. We inspired each other to become our best and true enough, he did not only succeed me as Engineering Council Chairman but also as Most Outstanding Graduate of USC, our school in Cebu. The friendship grew throughout the years until he got married and I was a secondary sponsor, and now godmother of his firstborn. He is one friend I can talk about God, family, dreams, and all sorts of topics about life with much confidence that he understands and we support each other no matter where we are in our lives. I have utmost respect for this man, and I look forward to grow grey hair and yet continue to meet him over coffee and talk about life whenever there is a chance. I believe the things we have in common that made our friendship last are our values of integrity, respect, and prioritizing the essential things in life. This is truly a great blessing to celebrate 15 years of friendship with Raoul this year!

The deepest and best friendships I have developed since I have moved outside Cebu are in my community, Lingkod ng Panginoon. There are several of them especially my sister-leaders who are key contributors to who I am now. However, I would like to focus this sharing to two of them whom I mark 10 years of strong godly friendships - Minette and Bros.

I first met Minette in the Advent recollection of Lingkod Alabang in 1997. It was the first time for both of us to attend a Lingkod Alabang activity and meet each other but we bonded instantaneously and talked as if we have been friends for a long time. Minette is one person I freely share my personal life with. She had known my innermost feelings including joy, fears, and insecurities as I experienced the ups and downs of a single person finding her way in relating with men. We both live busy lives but are there for our most significant moments. Just like Raoul, when Minette got married, I was a secondary sponsor in her wedding and a godmother to her firstborn. Minette with her husband Mike (whom Minette brought to Lingkod) also made it a point to be there in my significant milestones especially when we started and celebrated the existence of Lingkod Cavite, the mission branch of Lingkod Alabang, where I served and helped build. We seldom meet now but continue to keep in touch and care for each other. I am filled with awe as I look back to 10 years of friendship with Minette, and look forward to continue this relationship with her.

Bros has been a manifestation of God’s faithfulness and perfect plan for my life. I recruited Bros to work in 1995 when he just graduated from college. Little did I know that he would recruit me to Lingkod a couple of years later which marked my entry into community. Joining Lingkod made me make the biggest and best decision in my life - to be in a personal relationship with God; to have Jesus Christ as Lord of my life. Bros has become my closest brother in community. It is very easy for me to confide to him even things that are ideally confided to another sister. He is blessed with excellent listening heart and is such an accepting and understanding soul. He also never ceases to inspire and encourage me personally. Bros also stretched me in my service by dreaming for me and articulating that during our casual conversations. I have also been teasing him to become a Jesuit and am just happy he made it into reality even as he is still not done with the journey. I believe we bring out the best in each other as child of God. I have known Bros since we were kids in our neighborhood but am particularly grateful to God for the past 10 years of being brother and sister in Christ and very close at that. I look forward to continue to have him as a brother confidante, and probably my confessor in the future.

Truly I am very wealthy - with deep and lasting friendships. I praise and thank the Lord for allowing me to have several "best" friends in this lifetime, each I met in a different circumstance, but all are able to stand the test of time like these four I mentioned here. I look forward to growing grey hair yet continuing to live a full life in Jesus Christ with the love and support of these angels on earth, God-sent friends. These four only represent the wealth of friends God blessed me with. I pray that God bless all of them, and that we continue to inspire and support each other even as walking canes and wheel chairs come into play. For all this wealth, to God be the honor and glory!

I had my vacation in Davao last March 31 to April 7. That was my purely personal trip so far this year. The main intent was to take a break, slow down, and recharge. I believe I have achieved such intent.

I was able to attend my cousin Camille’s high school graduation, joined Holy Week activities, went to the mountains with my friend Alot, and simply hang out with my young cousins. The most memorable experience I had which still gives me a hang over from that vacation is experiencing the bright spirit of Ella, my youngest first cousin in Davao who is also my god daughter.

Ella and I spent the most time together. We slept beside each other, ate together, attended Camille’s graduation and the holy week activities, and visited tourist spots. Sometimes I even bathe her. A lot of times she would spontaneously pose and I take her photos.

Her bright spirit really amazes me. No doubt she is an extrovert and a very smart girl. When given a task, she would do her best and makes us laugh since she goes a little too far. For example, when we decided to do the stations of the cross at home, she not only joined us by reading some of the stations but she prepared the set up as if we have a chapel in their house. She also volunteered to lead the rosary. When I asked her to serve her older sisters on Good Friday during dinner, she happily obliged and acted like a waitress asking for their drink orders and prepared and served them iced tea and cold water. She would also read aloud my devotionals such that my prayer time is spiced up with some "audio" courtesy of Ella.

She asked me if I can stay longer in Davao like for 100 days. I said no because I need to get back to work. When I left Davao, Ella, her mom and sisters sent me off at the airport. When I was about to board the plane, I already got a text message from Camille, her oldest sister, that Ella was already missing me and was so silent (not her usual bubbly self). Two nights after I left Davao, Ella called and asked me to go back and stay with them for 100 days.

I know these are all innocent child requests. But I also really miss her a lot. While I miss all of my aunt and all her kids, I missed Ella most. Deep within I feel this could also be my motherly instinct. She could have been the daughter I don’t yet have. She is seven years old, good enough to have me as her mom, and her bright spirit is not too far from what I am blessed with.

To this day, I continue to smile at the memories that Ella and I created. Am amazed at the wonders a child can bring. And most of all amazed of God’s brilliance in creating each one of us with a unique beautiful spirit which is evident even at early childhood.

The first quarter of this year made me face the reality of death. First, my 33-year old sister in community who’s one of my closest was diagnosed to have cancer in advanced stage. Second, my 45-year old closest mentor at work died of heart attack. Third, my 98-year old great grandmother who has been my guardian when I relocated to Manila died while I was out of the country.

My dear sister in community was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma in its advanced state on the first week of January. We did not know the exact diagnosis that time; we only knew she had a big malignant lump that needs immediate operation. I was in denial for sometime; I can’t believe someone as young as her can have a terminal illness. However, as she now undergoes ongoing chemo therapy, I am filled with much hope. She is filled with abundant grace and honestly believes she will be completely healed. Now I no longer worry. Instead, I ask God that if only for her faith He would completely heal her.

Three weeks after we learned of my friend’s cancer, my closest mentor at work who was about to become my boss suddenly died of heart attack. I was in Hongkong Disneyland enjoying my weekend vacation when I learned about his death. Again, I was in denial. It took me some more days to accept the fact of his death and to allow my self to grieve. I did grieve and felt better. But what really made me feel good was the thought that I was able to express my appreciation for him while he was alive.

My great grandmother should have turned 98 years old this April 22. Although her death was not totally unexpected, I was still surprised when I received the info while I was in China. I was unable to attend her funeral as I was still in China that time. However, I was confident of my relationship with Lola and that she will understand my physical absence in her wake and funeral. I was glad I was able to recently visit her together with my parents and sister. I know that Lola understands the nature of my work and she knows her great value to me. I am also assured of her love for me.

Truly, it is not easy to face the reality of death. The natural first reaction is that of denial. Glad I was able to move to acceptance stage relatively soon in each case. I am blessed to have a very good support group in my Christian community whom I can confide my struggles and grief, and help me move on. What I count as greater blessing is the opportunity to have loved (and continue to love by praying for them) especially those who passed away. I am not as expressive as the most expressive of women. But I have learned that it is important to live the moment, to treasure relationships, and to express my appreciation to people while they can savor it.

Each reality of death that I face also reminds me how temporary my own life is. I am reminded that I am only a pilgrim and not a permanent resident of this world. I am reminded that I only have a very short time to live this borrowed life. I am convicted that I have to make a difference while I am here, and the best way is to fulfill the purpose God created me for. I pray that when my time to leave this earthly life comes, I am ready, and I can hear God saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. Welcome to my Kingdom!"

I was in Guangzhou, China last week for a business meeting. Upon my return to Manila, I had a very early flight to Hongkong. I do take heavy breakfast daily. Since my flight to HK was at 8am, I was caught hungry at the Guangzhou airport. However, I almost had no cash anymore, and so it was such a challenge finding something to eat with around 5 USD cash. The restaurants at that airport do not accept credit cards.

I chose a cafe which I thought had reasonable prices. I decided to order a chocolate pancake worth 40 Yuan. I had only 27 Yuan and 2 US dollars left in my wallet. I asked for the USD conversion to Chinese Yuan and it was 7.5. So I had enough for one order of chocolate pancake; I paid 25 Yuan and 2 dollars. Good I brought with me one bottle of mineral water, a left over from my meeting. And so I ate my breakfast.

After I consumed my pancake, the waitress was coming to me with a big smile. Then with some side laugh she said, "My manager thinks you may still be hungry, here is another pancake for you for free". I was caught off guard, but managed to say "Thank you very much, xie xie ni!" and had a big smile. I never pretended I did not want the free pancake nor was I not hungry. I happily received the treat and consumed it heartily.

Then the waitress again approached me and made small talk. She said the manager had two bowls of soup that morning. To my mind, he was used by God to be filled with compassion for me so I can have enough for my breakfast even as my money was lacking. She seemed to have been amused by me and also told me “You have nice skin". I was really amazed. I was the one given free food and yet I was also the one complimented.

God knows and provides for everything that I need. He knows my appetite and he provided for enough filling for me that morning. Not to forget that chocolate pancakes are one of my favorites. I am sure that it was no coincidence that I found favor in the eyes of the restaurant manager and staff. It was God providing for her hungry daughter. Isn’t it amazing?! All praise be to God, my ever generous Provider!

Getting into a relationship is easy. But having a good one and making it work and much more last, is the hard part. There are three essential things that I learned that makes a relationship work, namely, being Truthful, Trusting, and Thankful.

A relationship must be built on Truth. If two people do not know each other as each one truly is, it is impossible to have true acceptance and much more real loving. Well, it is also impossible to fully know a person even in a lifetime. However, as long as each is true to the other and always honest with one’s facts, thoughts and feelings among others, then there’s a good chance the relationship will last should both parties decide they want it to. Personally, I value honesty so much that I admire a person who admits even his or her ugliest portion in the light of being truthful and not wanting to pretend or hide anything.

The hard lesson I learned is to be Trusting. I ask a lot of questions and that is natural to me. However in the process I tend to have lack of trust or is perceived not to trust. A friend confronted me about this issue and I decided to give my whole-hearted trust. I also learned that I should express my curious nature in a way that is not misunderstood as lack of trust. Quite complicated but coupled with a lot of compassion for the other person I learned that it can be worked on. I discovered that trusting is one of the best deposits to the emotional bank account to the other party and it always begets trust too whether quickly or slowly. Especially for a man, to love him is to trust him.

Lastly, and the most easy and natural for me is to be Thankful. A relationship, new or running for years need a lot of appreciation. A person needs a lot of everyday affirmation. We women need more affirmation and assurance more than men. But regardless of the gender of the other party, giving frequent doses of appreciation is always welcome and helps a relationship be filled with warmth and smile. Relationships after all are source of inspiration and encouragement, of growth to both parties. Expressing gratefulness, appreciation, or admiration is then essential to make a relationship life-giving. If done spontaneously, then there is more chance both parties grow more to become who they are meant to become and the relationship will consequently stand the test of time should both parties decide to keep it.

I hope that by capturing my learning’s in writing I apply my lessons to the relationships I choose to keep and prepare me for the hard work of keeping lifelong ones. I resolve to work hard to be Truthful, Trusting, and Thankful with the other parties in my relationships. I wish all my friends and those who read this that they too enjoy their relationships and make them work and last!

Paul, my technical mentor and very good friend at work died. I got the call about his death last Monday but the fact did not sink in right away. Until Wednesday I was in denial. When I finally talked with my boss who is also very close to Paul yesterday, I started to realize that his death is real and I can’t help but start to cry. Until now I cry whenever I remember him.

Last night, I had the privilege to meet with my pastoral leader in community who made me realize that I should not downplay the effect of Paul’s death on me; that he is very important and close to me. I am glad that I was able to let my feelings out and recognize that yes I need to allow myself to grieve. Paul has been my closest colleague in my technical community of practice. He has been my best big brother at work. He is supposed to be my new boss starting this month and I was joyfully anticipating that but now he will never be. Paul and I were able to confide to each other some of our joys and disappointments. I have cherished the few phone calls which were rich with mutual trust. He has been based in Belgium and me in the Philippines but the distance did not matter.

His death reminds me of how short life is. He is only 45 years old when he died of massive heart attack last Sunday. I am just glad that when he died he was in the company of his family. I am also grateful that I was able to express how much I appreciate him. Several times I have thanked him for all his help to me and to the whole Asia region. When he called me last December to tell me of his move to Asia this month where he will be my boss, I was able to tell him that Asia is waiting for him, that he is one of us here, and I am personally looking forward to work with him. I also sent him a handwritten Christmas card expressing my gratefulness for all he has done for me and my organization, and on how much am happy to work with him soon. In this respect, I feel good that I did not withhold my appreciation but expressed them freely to him while he was still able to hear it and experience the joy of being appreciated.

My grieving is not yet over. But I know that I need to move on at some point. I pray that God heal me of my hurt about Paul’s passing away. I pray that I surrender Paul to God completely. Most of all I pray that God have mercy on the soul of Paul and grant him eternal rest.

Lastly and very importantly, I resolve to continue to honor my mentor Paul even when he is no longer here to coach me by being my best at work. I want him to be very proud of me, to say that the colleague he most trained personally in Asia is doing her best. Like him, I want to be both a great resource and friend to many at work.

The reflection in today’s Word Among Us guide encourages us to be generous evangelizers. I felt this speaks right to my gut and heart, and I want to share this with you. Pls. read on. God bless you all! - Riza

=====================================================================
The sower sows the word. (Mark 4:14)

Perhaps when you read or hear this parable, you focus on the different kinds of soils, or the environments on which the seeds fall. Maybe you even wonder which one of these soils best fits you, and you hope that you are like the good soil that produces abundantly. But how about seeing yourself as the sower instead? Maybe it’s worth considering how much God may want you to sow the seed of his word.

If there is one word that characterizes the sower in this parable, it is generous. This fellow spreads his seeds everywhere. He doesn’t seem all that concerned about where the seed will fall. He simply casts it to and fro.

Isn’t this a great image for how we should view evangelization? Shouldn’t we be generous, almost indiscriminate, in the way we share God’s word and his promises? We really shouldn’t worry about where the seeds may fall or the soil quality of those with whom we share the word. Whether, in our judgment, the ground is hard, weedy, thorny, or fertile shouldn’t matter. After all, it is the Lord who gives the growth, not us (1 Corinthians 3:6-7). All we have to worry about is imitating the generosity of the sower.

Think for a moment how many other seeds the world, the flesh, and the devil are sowing all around us. There’s nothing stingy in their tactics. How much more, then, should we counter all these poisonous seeds with the seeds of the gospel! The need is great, so don’t be intimidated! And by all means, don’t feel defeated or outnumbered! God has promised to be with you always as you spread his word.

So how are you going to sow today? What opportunities will you seize to spread the seeds of the gospel? They’re all around, after all. Keep your eyes open, as you ask the Lord to help you see ways you can creatively witness to his love. Who knows? He may even give you brothers and sisters in Christ who are just as zealous as you to proclaim the word, in season and out!

Lord Jesus, make me a generous evangelizer and sower of your word in all kinds of soil. Fill me with zeal and courage, Lord, to go forth and spread your seeds all over the world!

I attended a retreat for leaders in my Christian community last weekend. It was a great time of facing my fears before the Lord as well as getting support from sisters and brothers who are fellow servants in community. What I would like to capture here is the key learning I got from the retreat: that a storm is different from a cross. Many times, we interchange a cross for a storm and a storm for a cross, but really one is different from the other.

A storm happens beyond our control. It comes and it goes; it is passing. Just like one of my favorite lines when facing a difficulty, when a storm comes we can certainly say "this too shall pass". A cross on the other hand is choice. We choose to pick it up and carry it. Sometimes it is a quick carrying of the cross, in some cases it may take a lifetime.

When facing a storm, we should keep two important lessons: (1) Believe that Jesus is with us. Don’t focus on the storm, look for Him. (2) Believe that He can change things. He is in control. However, do what is necessary that is within your means to survive the storm. As our retreat master Tito Ed Mendoza said "Sometimes, it is in the very act of wrestling with the storm that we find joy". In a storm, we should hang on to our core, our soul. It is important then that such core, the soul within us is nurtured to always be in God’s presence and anchored on Him so we are full of grace when a storm suddenly hits.

A cross signifies death. When we choose to pick up a cross, we choose for our ego to die. Anything that tames our ego, pride, sense of self-worth is a cross. We make room for the Holy Spirit by crucifying our ego on the cross.

I am currently facing a storm. It breaks my heart knowing that one of my closest friends, a most dear sister in community is suddenly battling cancer. I surrendered the situation before God and asked for more faith during the retreat. Up to today I continue to surrender. As I pray for my sister that God may have mercy on her and heal her completely, I continue to die to my weaknesses and imperfections. I am blessed to have the privilege to take up the cross of facing this situation with my dear sister and helping her in whatever way I can. As I pray for her, my own doubts and lack of faith are undergoing their series of deaths. I am blessed because I am dying to what is not of God and being purified to become worthy to carry such a cross. I pray that the storms that hit me and the crosses I choose to carry including this situation of my friend shall magnify and glorify Jesus who saved us by literally dying on the cross.